The Happy Sad, Grief and Joy of the Empty Nest

January 29, 2023

The fall of 2010, my youngest son Evan left for college.  Each morning for a few weeks, I would walk past his bedroom expecting to see his lanky body sprawled across the bed. I would make coffee in the morning and long for our chats before school.  The house was too quiet. The banter and laughter that punctuated the evenings was gone.  I couldn’t wait for the kids to be home at Christmas. 

When all three returned home at Christmas with their laundry, electronics (kids always come back with their X-boxes and video game clutter that includes a deluge of cords and chargers), art supplies (oldest son), years worth of clothing for every season (daughter), and boxes of stuff to be stored, the melancholy vanished and I wondered why I had been so sad.  Without the kids I had a lot more closet space, never had to share a bathroom, and relatively speaking, there was almost no laundry.  I checked the calendar to see when they’d return to school and my husband and I could get back to our empty nest. It is a common experience among parents.  

Dogs also experience the pangs of their puppies growing up.  At seven weeks, Luna’s puppies had needle sharp teeth.  She nursed them sporadically with obvious discomfort.  She would leap onto higher surfaces to get away.  Or she would simply scrape the nursing puppies off of her like bubbles of paint on a house as she’d step over the wall of her whelping box dropping squalling puppies.  Her puppies were becoming demanding, assertive, silly, clumsy, independent, and adventurous.  Sounds very much like human teenagers. Luna’s puppies were ready for life’s next adventure.  Luna needed a break.  

And here we are.  All puppies have been placed in loving homes.  They haven’t all left the farm yet, but six will soon be gone to their new families.  Two will stay for a short amount of time for training. They will bond quickly and depend on these new humans for the rest of their lives.  They will fetch, run, play and obey these new people whom they will love more than themselves.  And once again, I feel a familiar melancholy. 

We have poured time, resources, and an abundance of emotional energy into each puppy.  They have been ours. . . for a time.  We have put all of this effort into nurturing a puppy that will be a reliable and affectionate  lifelong companion.  And then they leave us.

I received several “first week at home” reports this evening.  Two families said their puppy was pottying outside, sleeping in the crate, and had quickly bonded with at least one child in the family.  Another sent pictures and exclaimed “We are in love!” I cried.  And cried a little more.  Like we reminisce of our own children growing up and the milestones they achieve, I thought back to just 8 weeks ago of Luna’s delivery and the chirps and squeaks of those newborn puppies.  I remembered sleeping for two weeks in the whelping room to make sure Luna wouldn’t accidentally roll on a puppy. There were the daily weigh-ins, continuous inspections of mom and pups for health and vitality, weekly de-wormings, and exhaustion.  It was worth every sleepless night. 

I have always believed that dogs make us better humans.  Through the whelping to the release of puppies, I understand that we are deeply connected in the most primal life experiences.  We share similar emotions throughout those experiences.  While in the whelping room watching another Jurassic Park movie (puppies are like baby T-Rexes and seek to rip and destroy- it was fitting), Luna leapt on the bed and licked my face.  I rubbed her head and she leaned into my body.  We are sharing these bittersweet moments.  I think in another week or two she is going to settle into the empty nest and enjoy uninterrupted sleep and meals.  And she won’t have to share a bed or Bully Stick with the kids. We will both be fine.

And we will know if it’s time to do it all over again with Willow and Sherman (Cream Golden Retriever puppies) and Auggie and Pearl (Golden Doodle puppies). Stay tuned as we will be having ultrasounds to see if both of these litters of puppies will be arriving at the end of February.   The new litters may make the goodbyes of the last litter ache a little less.

https://www.doodlepatchfarm.com/rumors-are-flying/ Check out the rumors about more puppies arriving soon.

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